Popular Chinese news site Sohu posted these pics of an incredibly resourceful pickpocket stealing an iPhone from a woman on a moving bicycle! These amazing photos were taken in downtown Zhengzhou and instantly became a Chinese web sensation, leading to the perpetrator turning himself in. The thief, dubbed in the Chinese media as “Suit Man” (or, hilariously, “Suit Male” by Google Translate) was caught on camera deftly sniping the cherished device while jogging behind its oblivious owner.
After the images went viral, Suit Male, a man named Wang, turned himself in and probably ended his career as the Best Pickpocket Ever. Like a great sword being interned into stone, he’ll be retiring his chopsticks into the little paper sheath of history.
All that’s left for Wang now is to atone for his two-pronged crime and face the music (which is probably Chopsticks, by the way). I, for one, think a theft this impressive warrants a Get Out of Jail Free card. At very least he deserves a slap on the wrist in exchange for community service. He could teach proper chopstick etiquette to messy kids or maybe Mr. Miyagi style pest control!
All kidding aside, he told a local journalist that he began stealing to support himself and his daughter, who he’s raising as a single parent. So, I almost feel for the guy and I wish him the best despite his mistakes. Hopefully his notoriety will lead to some TV appearances or a job. I see a chopstick brand sponsorship deal in his future! Or not.
Take a look at these pics and have your mind blown below. Truly a master at work, he wields those things like Picasso holding a brush.
And remember, chopsticks are for food and not for criminal activity.