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Can’t get laid? Looking to get sexually assaulted? There’s an App for that!

July 27, 2009 by Stefan Constantinescu - 2 Comments

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Parents looking to buy a new home in a safe neighborhood, priests looking for people to relate to, and fat chicks wanting to try a different flavor of frankfurter, are all rejoicing at the release of “Offender Locator” (iTunes link). This iPhone application uses the GPS sensor inside the iPhone to find your present location and show you where those delightful deviants known as registered sex offenders are living. Is little Sally asking if she can sleep over Becky’s house and play spin the bottle while talking about boys and exploring a possible bisexual lifestyle? Just say no, because she lives in a town with lots of sexual offenders! Now MG Siegler brings up a fair point, how is this information kept up to date? The world may never know. Just stay away from the Catholic church and your son’s chocolate starfish will be safe.

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