Rant of the Year: Fake Steve Jobs’ brief chat with AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson about mobile data

fsjWriting well is a skill bestowed upon few, and those who have the power of wrangling English to produce persuasive, enlightening and entertaining work are idolized and envied by writers all over the world. Dan Lyons, also known as Fake Steve Jobs, recently wrote a satirical rant describing a phone call he had with AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson about Ralph de la Vega, CEO of AT&T’s Mobility Division. It’s so good that I didn’t want to blog about it on Sunday, when I first read it, since I wanted to share it when traffic at IntoMobile peaks, and that usually happens on either a Tuesday or Wednesday. It’s 2000 words long, so most internet audiences will struggle with it, but I urge you to read, and the reread, what is probably the most elegant rant on AT&T’s network, mobile data and the failure of businesses who simply focus on the bottom line. I’ve been writing for pleasure for three years, and professionally for two, and I hope that at some point in my career I can reach this level of craftsmanship.

One more thing … Fake Steve Jobs is also asking all AT&T customers with an iPhone to run a network intensive application for one hour starting at 12:00 pacific time this coming Friday as a way to give AT&T the finger. It’s called Operation Chokehold:

Subject: Operation Chokehold
On Friday, December 18, at noon Pacific time, we will attempt to overwhelm the AT&T data network and bring it to its knees. The goal is to have every iPhone user (or as many as we can) turn on a data intensive app and run that app for one solid hour. Send the message to AT&T that we are sick of their substandard network and sick of their abusive comments. THe idea is we’ll create a digital flash mob. We’re calling it in Operation Chokehold. Join us and speak truth to power!

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