Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez launches affordable “Penis” phone

Venezuela’s president Hugo Chavez has just done what no other cellphone company in the world would dare do. Chavez has launched the first ever “penis” phone. Wait, what?

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Want to touch my Penis Phone?

In an unprecedented product launch, Hugo Chavez became the first sitting national leader to launch a cellphone. Hugo took the time during his weekly TV show, “Hello President,” to unveil to the world the new “Vergatorio” cellphone. He proclaimed to the world that “This telephone will be the biggest seller not only in Venezuela but the world.” Chavez went on to add that “whoever doesn’t have a Vergatario is nothing.” For those not too versed in Venezuelan slang, the name “vergatorio” is derived from the local slang for “penis.” You can imagine the look on Chavez’s PR team when he uttered those fateful words.

Chavez started down the road to his historic “penis” cellphone launch when he nationalized the cellphone manufacturer that made the Vergatorio. The President-turned-cellphone-pitchman wanted to make a cellphone that was “light, beautiful, good and cheap.” The end result is the unfortunately named Vergatorio.

Horribly inappropriate model name notwithstanding, Chavez’s vision for the Vergatorio is noble. The Venezuelan President wanted to put “science and technology” to work for “the service of the people not the elites.” But, we have a feeling that Hugo’s pitch isn’t going to win over too many hearts and minds. People just don’t like being told they’re nothing without a “penis” phone…

[Via: Telegraph.co.uk]

  • Valmore

    Oh my god…

    This phone more than a noble vision; it´s a political tool to try to make people focus attention on him, nothing more, he says that the phone is made in Venezuela but, that´s not true; is assembled in Venezuela.

    Regards

  • Edgar

    Jeez, some knowledge of local slang would help before jumping into this one.

    Although “Vergatario” (yes, it is with an “a”) derives from the word “Verga” which is slang for penis (a meaning that has been lost in history as it would not have that connotation to most venezuelans), the word Vergatario itself is slang for “great”, “solid”, accomplished” (in the positive sense) or “who do you think you are?” (when applied to a person in a negative sense). This is not a recently minted word, as some agencies are reporting, and it is as common as the word “Cool” in some regions of Venezuela.

    But yes, Chavez still sucks.

  • Lars

    Oh, goody, now lets get Hilter and Stalin to help launch a phone.

  • J

    Noble? He nationalizes (steals) the phone from others and he is noble because he wants to make money off it rather than allowing those he stole it from to do so?

    Oh wow, the meaning of “noble” has so changed.

  • Mariano

    IntoMobile: You are mistaken. Vergatario does not mean p…s in Venezuela (although the word verga is p…s in other countries).
    As for the Real Academia Española, Vergatario stands for someone who “stands out because of quality, strength or force”. I thing is reasonable because no one would be so stupid to name p…s a cellphone.

    I had to take out P…s because for your comment system it is “too spammy”

    Regards

    • Mariano

      I think…not I thing :)

  • Venezuelan in Cucuta

    First off, it kinda bothers me that the article doesn’t seem to decide if the phone’s name is “vergatario” or “vergatorio”. It’s “vergatario”, which an “A”.

    And unlike Mariano said, verga does mean penis in Venezuela. Although the word is mostly used as a generic slang for “thing”. Not to mention the joke of equating the word “vergatario” with penis originally came from Venezuelan websites. It probably originated on theonion.com-like satire website elchiguirebipolar.com, where they are currently announcing that the next version will be called “el cojonudo” (“The ballsy”).

  • Paul

    Sorry Mariano, but “Vergatario” isn´t a nice word even in Venezuela. You can use it as an expression for many different situations, but still it is a bad word. I guess you are venezuelan, so am I. Saludos

    • Mariano

      No, I’m not :). I still can say the true meaning of vergatario because it’s jargon from Venezuela, but I refuse to think that Chavez, whether you like him or not, is that stupid. On the other hand, being Chavez provocative, I don’t see him calling this cellphone “magic” or “dream” :)
      I guess we all learnt a little with all this.

      Saludos/regards

      • Mariano

        Sorry, “I still can say the true meaning of vergatario” should read “I still can’t say the true meaning of vergatario”

  • T

    How is nationalizing a private company, stealing a product they spent years and millions developing, and using your government status to sell it noble?

  • Eloy

    I’m afraid that the author of this article is extremely naive. I do not have any doubt that this mobile is heavily subsided by the Venezuelan state as the manufacturer is state owned company. Its retail price is approximately £7.50 at official rate. It is impossible to find a cheaper phone from Nokia or Samsung at that price.

    I believe that all this promotion is aimed to keep the venezuelans distracted from the real problems that the country is having.

  • Tortugo

    From Venezuela: He is just a stupid who likes attention instead of solving the real problems we have here ( crimes, poverty,and the list goes on)… And the word “vergatario” is considered bad word here…

  • JC

    You’re right about the wrong translation of “vergatario”, but wrong about no one to be so stupid, he is it despite this translation mistake.

  • Angela

    I’m definitely not a fan of the guy and his no sense political antics, but for you guys to say that his launching a pe..is phone is just ignorant. A poor translation attempt because as the writer before me states Vergatario the slang word is like saying amazing. I.E a product labeled F..cking great, translated as very good for intercourse!

  • Luis Peña

    Beyond your typo of thing instead of thing. You must accept that the origins of the word Vergatario comes from the context of a big penis in our predominantly macho society. Something that in our culture is good and hence the meaning accepted by RAE: Something that should be translated (loosely) as hot or cool.

  • MJ23

    Mariano is completely right about the meaning of the word. Myself, a venezuelan native, confirm it.
    On other hand, the word itself is too tacky to be used as a commercial product name.

  • Juan Carlos

    I’m afraid you’re wrong about Venezuelan Slang.

    In Venezuela “verga” is referred to something pretty big, impressive, so “Vergatario” is most accurately translated as “Most Excellent”. It is *not* referred to p__s as you said. However, in Puerto Rico, República Dominicana,etc; it is referred to p__s.

    Please research a little more before before making such affirmation. I will give you some tips about how the very same words different meanings depending the country which is spoken.For example: In Venezuelan Slang “mamar gallo” is a folk expression to a very funny person who likes to mock their friends. But it is a very offensive and obscene phrase in Chile. “Concha” (translated as “shell”) it is not offensive word in most latin american countries.But in Argentina, it referred to female sexual organ (in a very, very derogative way).

    This is why “neutral spanish” (i.e neutral castilian) have come to exists.However Chavez is not using it beacause he is talking -mostly- to their fellow Venezuelans, so , at least for us: this is NOT a p___s cellphone.

  • Jose Prada

    This is the real intention: Venezuela’s goberment will not aprove US dollars for new cell phones importation. So, Chavez has started this cell phone fabrication because it will be the only cell brand availaible in Vzla…

  • Matias Matute

    First, excuse my bad English. Second, I must clarify that the word “Vergatario” has nothing to do with exactly the word “cock” or penis. Vergatario is like saying “Excellent” and gives reference to something that is extraordinary in terms of their capabilities. The word is used in the plains of Venezuela, which are agricultural areas. There, “vergatarios” were cowboys who had the capacity to do all things rural, and have skill in using a sort of soft leather whip. In this case, President Hugo Chávez refers to the word vergatario over the mobile phone, as it has a wide range of features at a very low cost (approximately $ 13.95).

  • TRUTH

    Mariano: Your information is misleading (or partially correct). If you read the complete information in the “Real Academia” about “Vergatario” you will also notice that it is consider a vulgar adjective in Venezuela, because it is derived from P…S. Am i right?

  • Greg Wilson

    Valmore says:
    This phone more than a noble vision; it´s a political tool to try to make people focus attention on him

    Uh, you work for San Antonio Internacional. It’s a large SA oil company based in Houston. Of course you believe this…

  • EjS

    Edgard’s comment (May 13) is absolutely correct. The translator did a poor job on this one. But furthermore, the word “verga” is not even Venezuelan. It is classic, original, Spanish (from Spain that is), already used in Cervantes’s Quixote. The name chosen by Chávez refers to what Edgard says: something excellent, first class, way above-average. Applies both to people as well as things. It is vulgar, gross, but it does not have a genital connotation used in this way. Oh, yes, Chávez still sucks, but let’s be fair on this.

  • sain mena

    Yes the name VERGA is a day world at Mexican lenguage, and it is a bad world.

  • Not you

    Well, I guess we all know what Chavez should with this phone after putting it on vibrate. And I think this translation is hilarious! We should all just laugh about it instead of trying to be the “smartest” one.

  • VERDAD

    Vergatario in Venezuela (Zulia state) means excellent/very good. For example, people would say “el carro esta vergatario (the car is very good/nice).” It may mean something different in other places but the phone is produced and sold in Venezuela and by no means was the name used in disrespect…in my view! I guess we should curtail the name “John Thomas” in the U.S.A because in England it means to engage in “sexual intercourse” and it is also a slang for “penis” in that country…or the word “nosh” in the USA it can be used as “food/meal” but in England it can be used to define “oral sex”. This article and its intent is a bunch of rubbish! VIVA EL VERGATARIO VENEZOLANO

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