The best phone to enjoy this holiday season is the one already in your pocket [anti-consumerism]

Welcome to the last 35 days of 2009. The economy looks like the shit you took when you woke up Sunday afternoon after a weekend of heavy drinking and late night snacks at the kebab stand around the corner, the one owned and operated by the illegal Turkish immigrants living in your neighborhood. American unemployment is in the double digits, and you’ve already stopped complaining about your job since this Thanksgiving you’re thankful that you even have one. How much has technology progressed over the past year? Be really honest with yourself. Except for the iPhone 3GS released a little over 5 months ago, the first device to bring ARM’s latest Cortex A8 processor to market, what has stopped you in your tracks and genuinely impressed you?

Chances are the device in your pocket already does a lot of what the latest high end glitzy smartphones do, albeit a bit slower and on a screen not as nice. If you purchased a smartphone in the last year, it probably has GPS. Go ahead and download Google Maps, which is available for Symbian, BlackBerry, Windows Mobile, and even Java phones, by typing m.google.com/maps into your mobile browser. Even if your device doesn’t have GPS, cell tower triangulation has become so accurate over the past few months, thanks to the database Google is building of every cell mast on the planet, that you can get by without a GPS enabled handset.

What about email? I bet a majority of you use Google Mail. Type gmail.com into your mobile browser and download the Java client. You get the ability to check multiple accounts, and while it isn’t really push enabled, do you really need to be instantly notified when someone is pokes you on Facebook or left a comment on your wall about how hammered you were on Saturday?

What about web browsing? Opera Mini will breathe new life into your device, I promise you. Go ahead and type in mini.opera.com to grab the latest stable version, or m.opera.com/next to get Opera Mini 5 beta. Opera Mini works by rendering the website you want to visit on a server somewhere in Norway, then it compresses that website by 90%, and finally beams it to your device. It’s fast, really fast, so fast that I use it as my main browser and evangelize it constantly.

But are people going to think I’m out of touch because I use an old device? First of all, fuck people who judge you based on the mobile phone you use. I used to be one of those condescending pricks, but I grew out of that after the Nokia N97 came out. A lot of people I know purchased that piece of junk and made fun of me for sticking to my banged up, but trustworthy, Nokia E71. Many of those people are now regretting their purchase, and I’m just laughing at them, while also enjoying an extra 500 EUR in my bank account.

The first year of the new upcoming decade will be littered with attractive devices, mark my words. Today there is only one device running Android 2.0, and that’s the Motorola Droid. During February, in Spain, Mobile World Congress takes place, and you’ll see a lot of devices being announced. Devices that pack modern processors, devices that are sexier than what is out today, and devices that will make your friend who got himself something for Christmas on a 2 year contract want to kick himself in the face.

Skip buying yourself a new smartphone this holiday season, unless you have a Motorola RAZR or something. The type of people who read IntoMobile are the people who get a new device every 6 to 12 months. If you want my honest opinion, the best device for you to own this holiday season is the one you already have.

Now turn off your computer, eat some turkey, and go hug your Mom!